Do I disgust you? – II

Good Morning! You are watching Fuse 24 and this is S Ramalaiden with the news at Nine.

First chuck the headlines and let us have a look at the breaking (literally) news which has shaken the entire country. The captain of the banned army of Lashkar-E-Xtacy Mr. Cappy has begun his operations again but from a secret location this time. Blabbering with the media, the captain said “A majority of the population is getting infected by the Cappy virus. It’s a moment of joy and celebration. And I am looking forward for an active participation from disgusting lieutenants across the globe to join the fight for our G spot. We shall not refrain from breaking any number of G strings in order to achieve our objective,” The General’s comment is still awaited.

Attached herewith are some disgusting conversations recorded by ‘Fbi’ which prove to be enough to substantiate the captain’s stand.

Bombay, Feb 22, 2010:

• Ryan- Rohan you are not going to ride my bike. Is my stand clear to you?
Rohan- Which stand? Side stand or main stand?

Unknown location, Feb 26, 2010:

• Raj- Bala, tell me a joke no…
Bala- Okay, what’s the difference between holi and diwali?
Raj- What?
Bala- Diwali falls on a holiday but Holi des not fall on a Diwali day!

• Bala- Cheekar, what’s the difference between a Mosquito and a fly?
Raj- What?
Bala- See, Mosquito can fly but fly cant mosquito!

The fact that the Cappy virus can be extremely disgusting and irritating is not hidden from any one but the government has failed to take any action against the Cappies. The situation is very likely to go out of control anytime.

Our Fused correspondent ‘Vein-cut DesiDaaru’ and ‘Nitya Prescription’ interviewed the Cappy, at his creepy bungalow at Dick-head road, Porn-E-cherry and they recall the experience as traumatic. Below is an excerpt from the conversation. For full interview please log on to wwwwww.fuse24/7/365.coma.

Vein-cut- what plans for near future?

Cappy- There are lots of projects coming up so I am really tied up this month (says this and shows a big rope from under his chair).
Vein-cut- What are you upcoming projects?

Cappy- Well I am directing a horror cum devotional movie called “The Sexorcist”. Mr. ‘Sheru Can’ is the producer and it stars Ass le Judd and Leo dick-in-Capri-Oh as main lead. I am very excited about this movie because in a way I can relate to this film very closely. I am also working towards ‘Female Up-lift-men’. My Three star NGO which is called ‘F*** 24/7/365’ has been working continuously towards Women empowerment and ‘shit like that’.

Vein-cut (pointing towards Cappy’s computer’s wallpaper which reads ‘When I’ll be rich you’ll be my Bitch’) – Sir, Would you like to tell our countrymen that why do you have such a disgusting wallpaper?

Cappy- Oh Sorry… Nothing, way of life, you know. (Smiles shamelessly and changes the wallpaper)

The new Wall paper reads ‘When there’ll be Fog, You’ll be my Dog’!

Vein-cut gets irritated and goes out to get some fresh air. Nitya continues the interview.

Nitya- I think your bachelorhood has made you so frustrated in life. Any plans of marriage? You see, you can’t have such wall papers after you are married!

Cappy- Oh! Actually yes! Don’t worry, next time you visit me I would be married and then I would have this as my wallpaper. (Bends and changes the wallpaper). The new wallpaper reads: - “When I’ll be in distress, you’ll be my Mistress’!

(Nitya too goes out to get some fresh air while the ‘sir-vent’ prepares some Fu-cKoffee for them.)

Although Vein-cut Desidaaru and Nitya Prescription could not dare to go back inside but the cappy’s sir-vent handed over a cassette to them for a bribe of Rs. 10 (how cheap! Thoo!).This cassette contains the conversation which Cappy has had with his friends Nor10, Nor20, Nor30 and Neither10. Yes they are the same hard Core left right and centre sponsors of Lashkar-E-Xtacy whom we mentioned in our previous bulletin. Below are some excerpts from the cassette. For listening to the full conversation please log on to
wwwwww.Fuse24/7/365.coma.

Cappy- abbey if Vinci was the most powerful Person on earth his name would have been?
Nor10- what?
Cappy- Invincible Gomes!

Cappy- If he was a painter then his name would have been?
Nor10- what?
Cappy- Learnado da Vinci!
Anyway, Now it’s the time for the most disgusting comment of the week:-

“Look, I don’t believe in Love shove … (Pauses for a minute, then says) hmm actually not sure about the latter…”
- Cappy (In an interview with women rights activists at the premiere of his new film “Hard on” which is based on the Hard Rock Culture and nature of Indian Men).

And before we end, let us have a quick look at the top 3 disgusting questions of the week…

Q 1. What’s Sharon Stones Nymph sister’s name?

Q 2. What’s Raj Shekhar's Musician Brothers name?

Q 3. What is the most popular milk shake in Ryan Cornelio’s Office?

The answers shall be given in the next episode. See you same day same time and same channel but next week. Namashkar! Okay chuck it man… why to keep you waiting till next week just to disgust you. It should be instantaneous!

ANSWERS:
1. Testosterone! 2. Kula Shaker! 3. Ananda Shake!












P.S. - Our website wwwwww.fuse24/7/365.coma has already received 1,00,0 hits so far, literally! The police have recorded several incidents of people breaking their Monitors after accessing the website.