MAO-YEAST - I (Growing on the failure of our democracy… )

...................................MAO-YEAST - I..........................................
.......................Growing on the failure of our democracy…......................

The Maoist gorillas have put a cap on their Guns muzzle for next 72 days. That means there will be no attacks on the police and government or government aided institutions for around 2 months 13 days. This sounds quite exciting. They are ready to talk to the government. Wow! I would thank Kishenji and congratulate our government. Somehow killings would stop for a few weeks. The whole of awaken India must be quite relaxed and relieved by this step taken by Maoists.

But I am not writing this to express my regards and sentiments or even views for that matter. Let me come to the point. Let us have a look at some data I have gathered in the past few days.

• States like Andhra Pradesh, Bihar and Uttar Pradesh have launched serious and vigorous operation against the Naxalites in the past few months.

• They have almost been showed their way out from Andhra Pradesh.

• They are facing problems in executing operations in Chhattisgadh (finally!). Thanks to Mr.Vishwaranjan, DGP Chhatisgadh!

• Senior Maoist leaders like Narayan Sanyal and others have been thrown in jail (and have been trying their best to get out).

Recently, Maoist activities and operations suddenly increased in affected states. It be targeting the railways or kidnapping of government servants posted in Naxalite areas. Around a week back, Maoists launched another operation against the police and killed 24 policemen. This was a big operation and the government would not have sat back. They were 24 policemen after all. Maoists thought process diverted from killings to existence and self- empowerment. They knew that a big counter insurgency operation by the government and Police is going to be launched. The climatic condition is going to be unfavorable and forest density is going to be low. Existence is gong to be difficult or tiresome at least. Therefore this smart move to take a “kit Kat break” in the mean time was a very strategically planned move by the senior leaders, some of them who are in jail and some of them who are not even in the country. During ceasefire i.e. in these 72 days, Government and police can not launch any operations against them or raid any of their hideouts or training centers. That will be a breach of cease fire.

In a conversation with Mr. Prakash singh (former IG BSF) he clearly mentioned that this is not the right time to talk. Naxalites know that government is ever ready to talk and negotiate but they can’t take advantage of this fact time and again. Seeing the situations unfavorable, they are throwing this bait of Peace talks and ceasefire at the government.


I had a conversation with my father and he summed it up (the ceasefire) as their attempt to regroup and reformulate themselves. This is just being seen as their move to strengthen their work force, resources and amenities and formulate new policies, moves and plans of action. My father was posted in Naxalite areas few years back and he dealt with it very efficiently. That’s another thing that in result he has been getting transferred frequently where other officials who just have a nice time enjoy their full tenure and are considered ‘fit’ for these areas. My father says that government has begun to strongly believe in the principle of ‘No reaction is a big action in itself’. I wonder how that helps in these cases though. Well and good. Let us move ahead.

Before I finish, I would tell you something very interesting. It is mind-blowing, literally.

The ceasefire is supposed to continue from 25th of February to 7th of May if I have done my math right. If I am not wrong this is the period/season which is called autumn. I had been reading this since class three that trees shed their leaves in autumn. Now I can understand that it creates problems for Maoists. Poor them! They can’t even hide in the jungles. Sigh… The ceasefire ends on 7th of May. Again if I am not wrong, its the beginning of Monsoons around that time which means the restoration of greenery in the dense forests! I salute their intellect!

It has been a gorilla war fare strategy or you can just term it as a smart human approach, i.e. act according to situation. What brains, what a timing!

Indeed the Maoists are getting smarter! :-)

Do I disgust you? – II

Good Morning! You are watching Fuse 24 and this is S Ramalaiden with the news at Nine.

First chuck the headlines and let us have a look at the breaking (literally) news which has shaken the entire country. The captain of the banned army of Lashkar-E-Xtacy Mr. Cappy has begun his operations again but from a secret location this time. Blabbering with the media, the captain said “A majority of the population is getting infected by the Cappy virus. It’s a moment of joy and celebration. And I am looking forward for an active participation from disgusting lieutenants across the globe to join the fight for our G spot. We shall not refrain from breaking any number of G strings in order to achieve our objective,” The General’s comment is still awaited.

Attached herewith are some disgusting conversations recorded by ‘Fbi’ which prove to be enough to substantiate the captain’s stand.

Bombay, Feb 22, 2010:

• Ryan- Rohan you are not going to ride my bike. Is my stand clear to you?
Rohan- Which stand? Side stand or main stand?

Unknown location, Feb 26, 2010:

• Raj- Bala, tell me a joke no…
Bala- Okay, what’s the difference between holi and diwali?
Raj- What?
Bala- Diwali falls on a holiday but Holi des not fall on a Diwali day!

• Bala- Cheekar, what’s the difference between a Mosquito and a fly?
Raj- What?
Bala- See, Mosquito can fly but fly cant mosquito!

The fact that the Cappy virus can be extremely disgusting and irritating is not hidden from any one but the government has failed to take any action against the Cappies. The situation is very likely to go out of control anytime.

Our Fused correspondent ‘Vein-cut DesiDaaru’ and ‘Nitya Prescription’ interviewed the Cappy, at his creepy bungalow at Dick-head road, Porn-E-cherry and they recall the experience as traumatic. Below is an excerpt from the conversation. For full interview please log on to wwwwww.fuse24/7/365.coma.

Vein-cut- what plans for near future?

Cappy- There are lots of projects coming up so I am really tied up this month (says this and shows a big rope from under his chair).
Vein-cut- What are you upcoming projects?

Cappy- Well I am directing a horror cum devotional movie called “The Sexorcist”. Mr. ‘Sheru Can’ is the producer and it stars Ass le Judd and Leo dick-in-Capri-Oh as main lead. I am very excited about this movie because in a way I can relate to this film very closely. I am also working towards ‘Female Up-lift-men’. My Three star NGO which is called ‘F*** 24/7/365’ has been working continuously towards Women empowerment and ‘shit like that’.

Vein-cut (pointing towards Cappy’s computer’s wallpaper which reads ‘When I’ll be rich you’ll be my Bitch’) – Sir, Would you like to tell our countrymen that why do you have such a disgusting wallpaper?

Cappy- Oh Sorry… Nothing, way of life, you know. (Smiles shamelessly and changes the wallpaper)

The new Wall paper reads ‘When there’ll be Fog, You’ll be my Dog’!

Vein-cut gets irritated and goes out to get some fresh air. Nitya continues the interview.

Nitya- I think your bachelorhood has made you so frustrated in life. Any plans of marriage? You see, you can’t have such wall papers after you are married!

Cappy- Oh! Actually yes! Don’t worry, next time you visit me I would be married and then I would have this as my wallpaper. (Bends and changes the wallpaper). The new wallpaper reads: - “When I’ll be in distress, you’ll be my Mistress’!

(Nitya too goes out to get some fresh air while the ‘sir-vent’ prepares some Fu-cKoffee for them.)

Although Vein-cut Desidaaru and Nitya Prescription could not dare to go back inside but the cappy’s sir-vent handed over a cassette to them for a bribe of Rs. 10 (how cheap! Thoo!).This cassette contains the conversation which Cappy has had with his friends Nor10, Nor20, Nor30 and Neither10. Yes they are the same hard Core left right and centre sponsors of Lashkar-E-Xtacy whom we mentioned in our previous bulletin. Below are some excerpts from the cassette. For listening to the full conversation please log on to
wwwwww.Fuse24/7/365.coma.

Cappy- abbey if Vinci was the most powerful Person on earth his name would have been?
Nor10- what?
Cappy- Invincible Gomes!

Cappy- If he was a painter then his name would have been?
Nor10- what?
Cappy- Learnado da Vinci!
Anyway, Now it’s the time for the most disgusting comment of the week:-

“Look, I don’t believe in Love shove … (Pauses for a minute, then says) hmm actually not sure about the latter…”
- Cappy (In an interview with women rights activists at the premiere of his new film “Hard on” which is based on the Hard Rock Culture and nature of Indian Men).

And before we end, let us have a quick look at the top 3 disgusting questions of the week…

Q 1. What’s Sharon Stones Nymph sister’s name?

Q 2. What’s Raj Shekhar's Musician Brothers name?

Q 3. What is the most popular milk shake in Ryan Cornelio’s Office?

The answers shall be given in the next episode. See you same day same time and same channel but next week. Namashkar! Okay chuck it man… why to keep you waiting till next week just to disgust you. It should be instantaneous!

ANSWERS:
1. Testosterone! 2. Kula Shaker! 3. Ananda Shake!












P.S. - Our website wwwwww.fuse24/7/365.coma has already received 1,00,0 hits so far, literally! The police have recorded several incidents of people breaking their Monitors after accessing the website.