when i "re-married joana" after a month and a half last nite......

Hello, welcome to the psylent’s counseling Helpline.
Today, Dr. Psylentkiller is going to answer all your questions. Follow the instructions below to connect to psylentkiller.

*. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

*. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

*. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

*. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

*. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

*. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. no one would answer.

"If you are somehow able to get through in the end then whoever is obsessive compulsive can repeat the entire process again and whoever is codependent can ask a friend to repeat the entire process again."

Dr. psylentkiller- "sorry that was a joke" (HAHAHA)
Reader 1- "oh really!"
Reader 2- "arsehole!"
Reader 3- "you suck!"

Here are some excerpts from conversation Dr. psylentkiller had with the patients last week.

Psylentkiller- Would you like to sing a Christmas carol?
Obsessive compulsive- “sure, sure, sure!”
“ Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...”(starts again)

Codependent- What do you say when I say 'no' and don't feel guilty?
Psylentkiller- Healthy.

Manic-depressive patient- Why did I cross the road?
Psylentkiller- Who cares? What does any of it matter?

Psylentkiller- What is the first thing you say after you have sex with your wife?
Multiple personality patient- Well, was it good for you guys, too?

Psylentkiller- Would you like to sing a song or recite a poem?
Schizophrenic- Oh yeah! Here it is.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And I am too.

Psylentkiller- what is the first though which strikes you on Christmas?
Paranoid-delusional- “Santa Claus is coming to Get Me!”

p.s. - I am fucking stoned right now and I have no fucking idea about what shit I have been blabbering and typing above. after my accident the whole time i keep thinking about doctors, medicines, injections and etc. so don't wonder/panic about why am i writing shit about them. i am also going to stop reading random things online. I am not really sorry for inconvenience caused but yeah in future I promise not to misuse/abuse facebook like this again.

See you next week. keep smoking till then(Just kidding, take a break also!).