HOW WE COMPLETED THE THREE YEARS OF OUR 'BARC' (Bachelors in Art of Random Conversations) IN MANIPAL!

raj- if i was working in CNN-IBN and was smoking pot as well, what would my name be?
venky- (blank)
raj- Rajweed Sardesai!
venky-dude! are you this wasted!

Bala- If Raj Shekhar Jha smokes pot then his surname should be?
raj- dunno.. what?
Bala- Raj Shekhar 'Gaanjha'!
Raj- (blank)

raj- abey, what should be the 'apt' name for cocks and mocks?
Nor10- cocks and Vic!
raj- No, cocks and Dicks!

raj- dude how is kareena kapoor not in danger?
venky- dunno.. how?
raj- coz she in 'saif' hands!
venky- (blank)

raj- dude what should a doctors wife do if she does not wana have sex with him?
min2- dunno..what?
Raj- she should eat an apple! (an apple a day keeps the doctor away!)
min2- (blank)

Raj- abey, i dont even know the name or number of the chick who i was with last nite!
Nor10- chill... I know! ;-)
Raj- (blank)

Raj- dude whats your delhi no.?
sick- 9999778888
Raj- are you kidding me!
sick- Cum on mayn, i paid 25 fucking grand for this number!
raj- What! (goes blank)

sick(comes running outa twist corridor)- dude mayn, my sister is pregnant!!
Raj-(runs backwards) hey! stop! i did not do anything! ;-)

Raj-dude you sent some awsome moves on the dancefloor yesterday night in enigma!
sick- oh yeah.. back home i used to go for hip hop dance classes...
Raj- there are hip hop dance classes! what do they teach? grinding, grabbing, spanking and makingout n stuff!
nor10- (blank) :-D

Raj- dude your delhi no. says "this number does not exist"!
sick- oh...(after 5 seconds) haha! you know where that no. is right now? Canada! i forgot it back home.. but my other no. is there... 9999556666!
Raj- (blank)
Nor10- (blank)

anko- how long does it take to go to the railway bridge?
Raj- umm.. around 5 kilometers..
anko- (blank)

Vinci- (first day) i wana eat this, i wana eat that...after eating pastries, vada, biryani.. "abe kuch aur khaate hai na"?
nor10 & anko- (blank)
Vinci- (2nd day) abe kuch khaate hai na..after eating- lets get some ice cream! abe kuch healthy khaate hai na?.. abey mere ko fruits chahiye.. lets go man..lets go buy fruits!
nor10 & anko- (blank) (wondering what has happened to him!)
Vinci- Abe raj,kuch khaate hai na..? lets go?
Raj- yeah lets go! come...
AFTER 2 HOURS!
Raj- eh vinci kuchh aur khaayega?
Vinci- abey nahi be..
raj- Fruits khaayega? ye le apple..
Vinci- nahi bey..please.. enough...
AT HOME
Raj- eh nor10, anko.. ask vinci if he wants to eat something?
Vinci-NO MAN..please.. i dont want to eat anything!
raj, anko, nor10- :-) hahahaha.. raj man what did u do to him?
Raj- Nothing i just made him eat ;-)

a random guy outside edge having a drunk conversation with vinci
random guy- oh you too from Canada! dats great.. where do u live? i stay in uptown...
Vinici- oh yeah bro i stay in downtown!
Raj & nor10-(blank) (when did vinci go to Canada?)

bala- hey..what did you do the whle day?
raj- i was procrastinating...
bala- (blank)
bala- what does "madhoshi" mean?
raj-procrastination..
bala-what is up with u and procrastination?
raj-nothing.. i just like the word..
bala- (blank)

raj- "fuck! dat chick has a nice butt dude! "
venky- dude we are having quite a 'crack'ed up conversation!
raj- (blank) (then cracks up) :-)

Bala- boss you are being mean..
raj- hey.. do u know the full form of BOSS?
bala- yeah.. umm..Bastard,,Of..Secret..

Society!! hahaa.....oops sorry..
Raj- (blank)


p.s.- one name(sick) has been changed to hide identity... ;-) :-D

TO BE CONTINUED.......... :-) :-) :-)................

The original partitioning software for windows of India- available at www.jinnahnehru.ego :-)

The jaswant singh controversy and reading a discussion on the partition of India on a friends note forces me to spill out some venom. (i think in a very weird way i have realized.. sigh..) :-P Some things I also know about the unfortunate event.

The superficial/diplomatic/vague/political reasons of the partition of India are known to the world but what actually/exactly was going on in the Indian, British and international politics, at that time is still hidden and would always be... the thirst of power gets inside everyone after a point and it keeps increasing. Bernard Shaw said "Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power". In this context I would like to replace fools with a bunch of few over ambitious people. And that would sum the entire thing up.

Ram commented somewhere that the inclusion of religion led to the partition. I don’t think it was a reason at all. It seems so but in reality it did not lead to the partition but it was portrayed that it was the basis of partition. Religion may be one of the aspects but it is not the cause. And religion has always been a part/basis of any politics, either directly or indirectly.

I can recall one of the conversations which my grand dad was having with my father (my grand dad was appointed as the permanent representative of Nepal to the United Nations and had studied/knew "a lot" about the world/Indian politics). From that discussion I came to know several things which are quite unknown to so many people. My father was saying that the partition of India was mostly a result of clash of ego of just a bunch of people who were sitting at the top (names are evident, don’t need to mention) and it was very strategically supervised and initiated by the British. But grand dad argued that the exact reason of partition appears to be very uncertain. He was talking about the partition of India being in the election manifesto of the then elected prime minister of Britain, Clement Attlee. How ironical is that! And Indians say they fought and won freedom! Partition of India (independence of Burma too was in the manifesto!) played a major role in the largest victory of labor party at polls in the general elections. And this was in 1945 (In February 1946 Attlee declared his intent (election manifesto) to liberate India and in Oct 1946 (if I remember correctly) he announced the grant of Independence to India)! And this was termed as the first and greatest act of decolonization in the British Empire!

What do we think about Pakistan celebrating Independence Day on August 14, while India celebrating it on August 15! (On a lighter note I would comment here that I am sure that the partition of India was decided and planned much before the independence was planned). It is so evident. :-) It is said that Two self governing countries legally came into existence on august 15th, 1947 and the ceremonies for the transfer of power were held a day earlier in Karachi, at the time the capital of the new state of Pakistan, so that Lord Mountbatten could attend both the ceremony in Karachi and in Delhi. It is even said that reason for Pakistan celebrating independence on August 14 is the adoption of new standard time in Pakistan after partition. Is not it funny? Isn’t it ironical and mocking? I read somewhere that this arrangement was to avoid the appearance that Pakistan was seceding from a sovereign India! I did not understand this. Sorry but I need elucidation!

My grand dad even said that one of his British counterpart ended up saying in some informal discussion that partition of India would not have happened if only some people knew that that Jinnah suffered from tuberculosis, which was apparently incurable at that time! he would have been handed over the power. strange but true... that British official even quoted Lord Mountbatten, that when he learned of Jinnah's ailment, he said 'had they known that Jinnah was about to die, they'd have postponed India's independence by a few months as he was being inflexible on Pakistan'.

I have much to talk on this issue which I would do, soon. I have to go for now. :-(

Do i disgust you?

On public demand here I come again with my new stock of world's (second) most disgusting jokes to disgust you my friends and avid readers… I hope you like them, appreciate them and in return boost my morale so that I can constantly render you my services, free of cost!

So here we go…

Q. what would Mintu’s brothers name be if he had a double chin?
A. Chin-two.

Q. If Norten had a brother, his name would have been?
A. Nortwenty!

Q. If Norten had two brothers, their name would have been?
A. Nortwenty and Northirty. (& so on…)

Q. If Norten dint have a brother then his name would have been?
A. Neither-ten!

Q. If Venkat cut wood, what would we call it?
A. Venkcut!

Q. If a serial director hit a plug point socket and got a shock while making love to his girlfriend, what would he call it?
A. Sex and the Electricity!

Q. If Boy zone launched a new brand of dildos, what would they name it?
A. Toy zone!

Q. what is the name of the new movie Shahrukh Khan and Farah Khan are going to make on the life of Madonna?
A. Mad-hoo-na!

The legendary singer Shaan, being worried about his decreasing popularity has approached Shahrukh Khan and Farah Khan. They are going to make a movie for him named “My name is Shaan”!

My friend told me with great excitement and confidence that “dude with these chicks you should always apply this formula of ‘fuck and fly’!
Another friend objected and said “no, I think you should adopt fuck until she flies”!
I got up with despair saying “fuck the flies”!

i hope i was able to disgust you people.. i shall come back soon.. :-)

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

few lines i came across and i am loving them...

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.....

when i "re-married joana" after a month and a half last nite......

Hello, welcome to the psylent’s counseling Helpline.
Today, Dr. Psylentkiller is going to answer all your questions. Follow the instructions below to connect to psylentkiller.

*. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

*. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

*. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

*. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

*. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

*. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. no one would answer.

"If you are somehow able to get through in the end then whoever is obsessive compulsive can repeat the entire process again and whoever is codependent can ask a friend to repeat the entire process again."

Dr. psylentkiller- "sorry that was a joke" (HAHAHA)
Reader 1- "oh really!"
Reader 2- "arsehole!"
Reader 3- "you suck!"

Here are some excerpts from conversation Dr. psylentkiller had with the patients last week.

Psylentkiller- Would you like to sing a Christmas carol?
Obsessive compulsive- “sure, sure, sure!”
“ Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...”(starts again)

Codependent- What do you say when I say 'no' and don't feel guilty?
Psylentkiller- Healthy.

Manic-depressive patient- Why did I cross the road?
Psylentkiller- Who cares? What does any of it matter?

Psylentkiller- What is the first thing you say after you have sex with your wife?
Multiple personality patient- Well, was it good for you guys, too?

Psylentkiller- Would you like to sing a song or recite a poem?
Schizophrenic- Oh yeah! Here it is.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And I am too.

Psylentkiller- what is the first though which strikes you on Christmas?
Paranoid-delusional- “Santa Claus is coming to Get Me!”

p.s. - I am fucking stoned right now and I have no fucking idea about what shit I have been blabbering and typing above. after my accident the whole time i keep thinking about doctors, medicines, injections and etc. so don't wonder/panic about why am i writing shit about them. i am also going to stop reading random things online. I am not really sorry for inconvenience caused but yeah in future I promise not to misuse/abuse facebook like this again.

See you next week. keep smoking till then(Just kidding, take a break also!).

10 intellectual thoughts which run thru my head whenever I spend time with my little friend royal stag! :-)

1. I am the best biker alive!:-D
2. I am the only one around who is sober!
3. I am the only guy who is behaving in a rational manner at the moment! :-D
4. The girl at the next table is cute and she is checking me out! :-D
5. Cigarettes are getting over, should I down this drink?
6. Is someone fucking around? :-D
7. Why aren’t they playing some psy! I should start playing…
8. Let us do some acid!
9. Another bottle?
10. Where next?

25 important things about me....:-)

1. me n bill bill clinton have something in common! we both have had a fling with a girl caled Monica.
2. me n george bush have nothing in common.
3. me and royal stag get along well. me, royal stag and my bike is a disastrous trio!
4. i suffer from schizophrenia. the oher one comes to life after 3 quarters of royal stag!
5. people who dont know me and who tend to hate me in the beginning, end up falling in love with me at the end! i have no idea why!
6. i like acid. it makes me feel happy.
7. i hate ecstacy. it induces dependency in me.
8. some people hate me because i fight. i hate them because they dont!
9. manipal is an awsome place to study at. some peopple come here to do that too.
10. i liked a monkey and wanted her to be a part of me. after knowing each other well we discovered that we are really strangers!
11. i like people who can stand up for themselves. but i also like girls who lie down on their own! ;)
12. you are really lucky if some people really love you and would be by your side no matter what. i m really lucky! :-)
13. i have a thing for girls with naval piercing. :-x
14. i like myself the way i am. i dont want to change myself a bit also.
15. playing at the rave in mussourrie was one of the happiest moments in my life.
16. shanti jatra would be a dream come true for me..
17. i am very scared of dogs and cats.18.
i dint like it when my closest friend cut his hair short. i had no say in it.! :-)
19. There are a few people in manipal for whom i can do 'anything'. i mean it.
20. i wonder if people who are named 'bala' are generally nice! i think the same about all of the few people i know who are nice! :-)
21. Proto is a wonderful feelling!
22. Parivsh is the only guy in my college to whom I lose in hand wrestling.
23. I am an introvert by nature. At first people think it is my attitude. May be they are right! :)24. I like to go for long bike rides and exploring new places. I love it when I have a good company while doing all this.
25. I just discovered 24 other reasons which make me believe that I am an idiot of the first order!

i have been thinking about it..

I am not going to talk something new or something undiscovered this time. I am just talking about things which most of us or at least few of us know and feel when we sit and think abut things and people.

We generally grow up as a person with time (but sometimes I still feel some people don’t!) and so does our thinking and way to look at life. But in contradiction to the aforesaid statement I think a majority of people just change or remain almost the same only with time. (Here I would like to mention one thing that whatever I m saying right now includes me too and even I mite be the part of the change-growth phenomenon I am talking about).

I would rather call it a plain change in their personality than calling it growth and I have reasons to say that. When I noticed and analyzed the behavior and actions of some people around me (and so many times my own!) then I have come to a conclusion that they haven’t grown up as such. There have been changes in their personality but nothing that would say that yes, they have matured and grown up with time. If I talk about myself then I would definitely say that I have not grown up in various aspects. I have changed a bit but then again u can’t call it growing up (and the reason being my actions and behavior that does not reflect maturity).

In the 2 and a half years I have spent in Manipal I have met so many people and people with completely different backgrounds, thinking and mindset, culture and class and I have tried to read them to quite an extent. And the more I try to read them, the more I get sure about my thinking of different personalities about which I have mentioned in my first post of this blog. I had said there that "no one is similar to another person in this world in any aspect, every1 is unique and different. We just assume or think that he or she is alike me or him or her and by being different I don’t mean superior or inferior I mean just plain different". Why I am talking about this is that people are different and so is their thinking and the reason for the lack of maturity lies in their thinking. Two brothers or sisters mite reflect a complete contrast in their personalities/behavior or two very close friends with similar tastes, hobbies and lifestyles mite portray a complete different picture when it comes to their personality and mindset. The difference in thinking level makes them so different from each. It is the thought process which is responsible for the maturity of one and immaturity of other.

more about Goa and gokarna

hi, first of all a very happy hippie new year 2009 to all of us! i hope this year turns out to be happy literally and brings in peace in our lives..
(In the holidays I have been quite free and so have been thinking a lot about things and thus have been giving a lot of pressure on my tiny brain which is not used to such alien attacks! :-))

I was talking about Goa and Gokarna in my previous post. I absolutely love these two places. i am so attracted by these two places that I don’t think it would ever happen that I don’t happen to go to these two places at least once a year! As I told you before that these two places are different in every aspect (except for the beaches [:-)]) and yet you can not not fall in love with them.

Goa for me is a totally different world. It’s not about partying (I have never drank in Goa!) but it’s more about "The Goa Experience". I had always wondered and thought it’s a foolish thing about why words like spirituality, parallel universe and ultra human experience etc are attached to the place like Goa when all you could do there is clubbing, water sports and yummy sea food! But now I stand at a point where I see and relate Goa to a very 'un-worldly' feeling. What I have experienced in Goa is not something I can experience in Manipal or somewhere even if those gifts are there in my body which is in Goa. It doesn’t feel like what it feels like in Goa. where u let it loose, where u leave the steering wheel but still are in so much control of yourself, realizing every activity which is happing around you but still not wanting to pay attention to it and enjoy those unsaid holy sermon.(:-)). Even the music whether that is ambient or psychedelic (what I listen to most of the time) sounds so much different and ‘meaningful’ in Goa. Every track (which is so much deprived of words) conveys a meaning and makes sense. I don’t think what i have said above will make much sense to those who have not experienced ‘the Goa'. Its the madness you undergo, the force which shakes you like a hurricane and the rhythm which seem to be like the shells floating in the water, those moments when for few seconds you have no idea of what the fuck is going on are priceless and indefinable. I don’t think I will ever forget watching sunset from Curlies, madness at hill top and nine bar and so many other places.

This was about Goa but Gokarna is a totally different experience. There is no trace of madness and any such feeling but a peaced out feeling which takes all your worries off you till you are there and helps you rejuvenate yourself so effortlessly that you very seldom realize before the hurricane inside you is lost somewhere and a calm smile is on your face. The moment you step in Gokarna either by train or by road (I have gone by road on the bike and by train) you start to feel happy and relaxed. You do feel that I don’t have any more tensions and I am here for myself. The walk down the hill or the walk from Namaste cafe to dolphin cafe and ahead relaxes your brain and excites your insight!

This is all i would say about Goa and Gokarna...